The colors of transition

The weekends for the past 6 months have been all about transition. Cate had been sick with rheumatic fever and making the leap to a new home and new possibilities seemed difficult, if not impossible. I think I was craving, for the first time in my life, consistency. 

That word drives me crazy. Consistency, to me, is equivalent to boring and mundane. Inconsistency, however, is full of possibilities and spontaneity.

I wanted it, though. I wanted to be at home. I wanted boring and safe. It sounded like a luxury. The spring had brought on too much spontaneity and too many possibilities. It was time to settle down.

Dave was starting his new job in Wisconsin and it was decided that the girls and I would stay behind in order to figure out how to make the transition. Transition meant we had to change. Change our home, doctors, school...everything. It all seemed overwhelming and lacking in color. Where I once saw the world in vibrant, luscious color it was as if my world had turned grey. Ok, so most people call that depression but I was in denial. I didn't want any part of it and I was going to resist the change as long as I possibly could. 

We traveled to Wisconsin last weekend to take a look at the new house, visit the school and get acquainted with our new home. While visiting the Madison Farmer's Market on Saturday morning it was if someone had flipped the switch. Colors came flooding back to me. It was a rainy, overcast day but the beauty of that market was impossible to ignore. I knew I was home.